I’ve wanted to cancel Christmas for the past 8 years.
There. I’ve said it.
Since my mum passed away, there has always been a sense of dread for me running up to this time of year. It was our fave season. We had fun, went shopping together, grabbed a festive coffee (or two), went overboard with presents, food and ‘just because’ gifts …… well, just because. Our ultimate goal was to have the ‘perfect’ Christmas.
‘Perfection’ is subjective. It’s different for every single one of us. For some it might be a good meal, or a call from family overseas. For others it’s a house full of chatter and extended family chaos. Breaking out the ’emergency’ chairs for unexpected guests to sit around a table brimming with food and drink.
For us it was always about the kids. The magic of Christmas was alive and well throughout my childhood and my mum and I made sure it was for my kids too.
I always thought some of that magic died with her.
Every year I’d exhaust myself, striving for that ever elusive ‘perfection’ and every year I’d be disappointed. I would put so much pressure on myself to get everything ‘right’. It took a while, but I realised it was me that had let the magic fade. I was too busy wishing away Christmas to see that everything was as ‘perfect’ as it was ever going to be. We had happy, content kids who were loved beyond measure and wanted for nothing. Plenty of food, festive fun and lots of laughter.
And now here we are. Christmas 2020. Yes it is different – the world over. No it will not be ‘perfect’ and not everyone you usually see will be there. This is probably the first year for a while I haven’t wanted to cancel it, despite the year we’ve had. Christmas for me is about love, kindness and family. We have had to adapt, but Christmas is definitely not cancelled and you’ll be surprised to know I’m glad!
This is the first year I have actually let things ‘be’. No stress, no pressure. However it pans out is how it was meant to be.
Something to remember:
Love and light.